I DID IT!!!

October brought me face-to-face with an unknown beast.... I was confronted by a personal fear. Having, I had thought, previously conquered all fears, I was stunned, then to find one jump out into my experience. Dave (who has yet to be introduced to you, Dear Reader) and Krystal (now ten years old) and I decided to do an easy hike that day around Pioneer Park (the red Dixie Rock) in St. George, Utah. Covering not much more than 60 feet, and with mostly a gradual ascent, the crimson sandstone rock had long ago split open, revealing a crevice about thirteen inches wide and, in most places, about twenty feet high. Knowing that my body could fit through that thirteen inches and that many people had survived the experience, I saw no reason to hold back and began making my way through. Not far into the "shimmy" I had the overwhelming sensation of claustrophobia well up within me. Fear and terror sought to overcome me! Trapped by the sheer walls on two sides and with fellow hikers in front and behind, there was nothing I could do but to will myself through. I breathed deeply and told myself that all was well, I could continue, there was nothing to be afraid of. Still, with others beginning their ascent behind Dave (who was behind me), I also did not want to hinder or bog down any of their experiences. I willed myself to continue. As I felt the fear, I also pulled back mentally and *watched* myself experience the fear. This split allowed me to, as a more mature *big sis*, encourage myself to keep going. Dave and Krystal were precious! Each of them were patient and encouraging. Step by step, hand grip by hand grip, I fought my desire to scream and continued to inch forward and upward. About half-way through the slot was a small cavernous opening where I was able to step aside and allow those behind me to continue forward while I caught my breath, sat down on a rock and put my head below my knees for a few minutes while I loved myself back into my peace. Again, Krystal and Dave were magnanimous in their patient encouragement. Continuing on after a few minutes, I eventually lived through it and, obviously made it out of the canyon. As I relaxed at the top and we continued our hike around the stunning views and colored rock of the area, I pondered deep and wide: where had that fear come from? What trauma from my past could have been brought forth for me to look at? Knowing, with my tenacity, that I would some day face that fear again and go through the canyon a second time, I continued to also be open to learning what I had exposed to myself about myself. Yesterday morning Dave asked, upon seeing that the weather would be gorgeous, if I wanted to try the hike again. I immediately responded with "Yes!" So we did. This time, Dear Reader, I was able to sail right through, with very little inner tremor. I KNEW that I would live through the experience this time: Been there, done that! And... I did. In fact, immediately after making my way through with the other courageous folk that had congregated for their personal exploration, I triumphantly expressed at the top: "I DID IT!" I have long lived with the confidence that "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me!" Often in my life I have had to call on all the inner reserves I could muster. At times, there have been "Angels" at my disposal who (like Dave and Krystal) have been there to provide help and encouragement. This, I believe, is what we each can offer to each other. This is also, Dear Reader, that which I desire to share with YOU! YOU can do all things and make it through all trauma in your path! And... together, we are so much stronger than each one of us alone. I love you, Dear Reader, and believe in you. May you make today bless-ed... for yourself and for each of the other potential "Angels" within your sphere. In peace....