December 18, 2008

I did not get on the plane this morning. Would I? Would I not? In the back of my mind I had not been completely certain. When I bought my ticket way back in July, I was told that legally, I must buy a round-trip ticket (two actually, one for Krystal, also). Otherwise, we would not be allowed to board the plane from Arizona to Ecuador. So the ticket agent got out his calendar and counted out 90 days—December 18th –and made the round trip tickets for that date. If one calls it “faith”—mine was strong enough that I would respond to others, “but I won’t be using the return ticket. I don’t believe I’ll ever be coming back.”

But I didn’t KNOW that. And then, over the last several weeks especially, in the back of my mind was the lingering question (that sometimes even came to the forefront): would I really find a way to stay in Ecuador? How would the VISA situation play itself out?

So many possibilities, but none of them slick and easy as originally assured to me. When it finally came down to it, just a few days before my 90 days of permission to be in Ecuador was to expire, I was driven, along with two attorneys, by my dear new friend and brother, Luis, down to Police Immigration to acquire an extension. They were all filled with confidence that this was an easy, routine, requisition. After some round-about business, they were informed (“they” because “they” spoke the language) that I would NOT be permitted an extension because only those from countries that embraced the “Andean Pact” were allowed long-term residency here if not legally citizens. The reality of it was, I was told quietly, was that the new President did NOT like Americans.

Okay, so now what? If my heart were only, somehow, allowed permission to speak to the President’s heart and let him know what I would really like to help HIM DO for his Ecuadorian people! That there is AT THIS MOMENT a plan in place to care for EVERY ONE under his jurisdiction. As I pondered, I realized that this land was more “home” for me than anywhere else on this earth right now. If I went back “home” to Arizona (or any part of The United States, for that matter—and I did have two invitations), what would I do? How would I financially “make it?” Okay, so I would get to hug and be with “my” children probably one or two days for a few possibly wonderful hours. Then what?

Here, in Ecuador, was where my heart would be. Here, somehow, was my work to do, my joy to find, my life to lose. I realized that if I was put in jail, that, oh well, that just might be the way to open up my voice and heart to ears that were open and prepared to hear about the Worldwide United Foundation. Perhaps that would be how I could (at least initially) help the most. I knew that my dear friends, Luis and Marcella (and Beth eventually) would care for Krystal. All would be well.

So, here it is, D Day. I did not get on the plane. Instead, I was taken by Luis and Marcella to Mega Maxi, the store of all department stores in Quito. I thought I would buy some candy canes and white chocolate to make my “signature” Christmas delicacy. However, in the store that had everything any Quitoian could want, there were NO (as in not one) candy canes to be found. Candy canes? Oh, yes, they had heard of them, but no. They didn’t eat candy canes here. Also, there were no bars or chunks of white chocolate.

Hmm, well, maybe I’ll buy a small Christmas tree for our little apartment. There were a few decorations (looking back, it wasn’t even Christmas music being pumped into the air), and there was a very small plastic wall-hanging tree (for $9.98) that I thought about purchasing then decided against it, Krystal’s school art project tree could do just nicely. As I passed the two or three types of Christmas stockings offered for sale (I had previously bought Krystal and I “mittens”—they’re small and require less to “fill”), I inquired of Luis and Marcela if they had any traditions that were special to their family. No, Ecuadorians did not fill stockings, Santa Claus did not come down any chimney (although they had read about that in American stories), but they did have a dinner the evening before and then opened up a couple presents that “Papa Noel” had left.

Interestingly, Luis then told me how he “hated” the holiday. For him, he was sickened at witnessing the commercialism (wow, if he could only see how that word looked in another “America”!) and the vast discrepancy between those who “had” and the many more that “had not.”

As I thought about “my” eight beautiful children, thousands of miles away from me…no holiday traditions being celebrated together, no Christmas stockings to fill, no Christmas Eve pajamas to open around the tree, no tree even—not even a small one propped up on a table, no caroling, no candy making and delivering, no hugs, music and hushed secrets…unbidden tears cascaded down my face. I could not stop them.

Oh, the sham of it all! I had tried for several years to participate on MY terms with the holiday. No stress, little money and hustle, many hugs and fun memories. A focus on the true gift; real peaceful love for ALL, a mere amplification of my life throughout the year.

Now, however, I would be unable to even do that, at least with “them”. Would “my” children really know how much I loved them and wanted their happiness more than my own? Would they know that their “REAL” Joy would bring me joy untold? Would they realize that I felt the same for every other child (no matter the age) , and could not stop until my life’s fire was spent in doing whatever miniscule act I could that my heart propelled me towards, knowing that in this way, their lives would be more greatly blessed in the long run, too?

Quiet sobs came unrestrained, but only for a few moments. Shaking myself, I knew that all truly was well and would work together for good. Christmas tree or no Christmas tree. White chocolate goodies or no white chocolate goodies. Children or no children. Presents and stockings and candy canes or not. Many children (if not most) in Ecuador and most other parts of the world would not even enjoy a warm bed for “sweet visions” of anything, much less a warm meal and a hug.

Yes, it's "Christmas" and yes I have seen several decorations, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it is not anywhere near the chaos and materialism that is taking place elsewhere. I am thousands of miles away from "my" children and who-knows-how-far from helping these other children of “mine” here. But, somehow I know that I am helping in my own small way. There's nowhere else on earth that seems as much "home" to me, yet my heart is so full with the discrepancy of those who HAVE and those who know-not-that -they-do-not-have.

Whatever my future looks like, I am here. Now is my moment. Krystal will feel my love. “My” other eight living children will too, I hope, being firmly rooted together in our hearts.

Later this afternoon, Luis took me to pay for and pick up the promotional flyers announcing the English classes I will be starting to teach in the afternoons and evenings at his school. As he drove, he began sharing something from deep in his heart. Only understanding part of what he spoke, he promised to write it down and send it to me via email. He did. I include here what he wrote, followed by a translation.

My new friend coincidentally shared with me this experience of his from long ago on this very day of deep peace AND emotions. This was just another poignant witness that my life IS being guided, that, however ludicrous my decisions may appear to others, I am finding my way (and doing that, as Frank Sinatra sang, *“My Way”). Interesting that Diego Romero expressed very similar sentiments to these expressed by Luis a few weeks ago as we were shopping with his relatives in the Otavallo market: somehow, he knew he knew me from somewhere. As soon as he met me he “recognized” me and felt very connected and close. (And, though the reader may intuit an erroneous viewpoint, both of these men I consider dear “brothers” and, I believe, they would each declare that I am a dear “sister.”) People are being prepared. Though certainly not slick and easy, my feet are being led.

My life will NOT be in vain. Following the peaceful promptings in my heart, I will find my way. However that may look to others. (They see with their own eyes, anyway.)

Here’s what Luis shared today, entitled “Un Sueno” (a dream):

MY FRIEND.

Hace unos años, quizá unos 8 años yo tuve un hermozo sueño, cuando yo en ese entonces me encontraba solo y en una situación muy dificil, en la que tenía un contrato por 91 millones de sucres para realizar unos trabajos en una hacienda ubicada en Pintág; en ese entonces los bancos cerraron por un mal llamado "feriado Bancario" en la que el dinero quedó congelado, al no tener el dinero suficienteciente no había para contratar trabajadores me tocó trabajar solo y para ahorrar combustible de mi coche me quedaba a dormir en el y una noche muy cansado me había quedado profundamente dormido, en eso de la 1 de la mañana aproximadamente soñaba que había una mujer muy hermoza de cabellos rubios con un vestido bello de tez blanca me acariciaba mis cabellos y me hacía sentir una paz inmensa y al momento que senti que habrío la puerta de mi coche desperté y la vi que se alejó en ese instante yo baje de mi coche y dije es verdad o un simple sueño.

Cuándo por primera vez te conocí me sorprendí, pero pasó unos días y en mi mente pasaban muchas cosas y me pregunte dónde le conocí y al recordar el sueño traté de encontrarte péro por algunos días no aparecias hasta que un lindo día te ví pasar y te invite de nuevo a pasar a la escuelita. y hoy tengo la suerte de que estes aqui en pérsona. Crees tu que me pudo haber pasado? fué sueño o realidad.tus hojos son los mismos que ví.

siempre
LUIS

Here’s a translation:

MY FRIEND.

A few years ago, maybe about 8 years, I had a wonderful dream. During this time, I found myself alone and in a very difficult situation. I had a contract for 91 thousand sucres to complete some work on a ranch located in Pintág. However, the banks closed because of problems and so all the money was frozen. Since I did not have enough money sufficient to hire workers I was required to work by myself. I had to save fuel for my car so I was left to sleep in my car. One night, when I was very tired, I had fallen deeply asleep, and at around 1 am I dreamed about a very beautiful woman with light colored hair wearing a beautiful white, lacy dress. She caressed my hair and made me feel an immense peace. At that moment, I felt the door of my car opened and I awoke. I saw that she had left. At that instant I got out of my car and I questioned, is it true or just merely a dream?

When I met you for the first time, it surprised me, but a few days passed and in my mind I thought about a lot of things and I asked myself, where did I know her? And as I remembered the dream I tried to find you for a few days but you did not appear until on a wonderful day you saw me pass and I invited you again to go to the school. And today I have the luck that you are here in person. Can you believe what has happened? Was it a dream or reality? Your eyes are the same ones that I saw.

always
LOUIS

Pleasant dreams, or, as the Ecuadorian’s say: “Duerme con sus angeles!” (Sleep with the angels!)
Kimberly :-)

“My Way”
And now, the end is near;And so I face the final curtain.My friend, I’ll say it clear,I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.I’ve lived a life that’s full.I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;And more, much more than this,I did it my way.Regrets, I’ve had a few;But then again, too few to mention.I did what I had to doAnd saw it through without exemption.I planned each charted course;Each careful step along the byway,But more, much more than this,I did it my way.Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knewWhen I bit off more than I could chew.But through it all, when there was doubt,I ate it up and spit it out.I faced it all and I stood tall;And did it my way.I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.And now, as tears subside,I find it all so amusing.To think I did all that;And may I say - not in a shy way,No, oh no not me,I did it my way.For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught.To say the things he truly feels;And not the words of one who kneels.The record shows I took the blows -And did it my way!

In Harmony

On one of the first days of our experience in Ecuador, as Krystal and I were walking toward the nearby park, I began picking up strains from a beautiful melody. As I drew closer, my eyes spontaneously filled with tears that tumbled down my cheeks as my heart swelled. I wasn't even conscious at that moment of what I was experiencing. It took me a few seconds to recognize the song "Chiquitita" and to mentally sing the words to the beautiful andean flute. As I later pondered my overwhelming response, I realized: this was a song that I had known from my youth, the original artists were Scandinavian, the words were in English, I had heard it and sung along with it often in my former home of The United States. Now here I was, in yet another part of the world, South America, hearing it played on an indigenous flute, welcoming me to my knew home. The title was in Spanish.

The singularity of the experience--all those different cultures and parts of the globe joining together in harmony to provide me this lyrical, soul-stirring moment! I felt very moved.

"Chiquitita" means "little girl." As I came home and searched the lyrics, I found them, also, to be most fitting. Here they are:

Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong
You’re enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet.


Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I’m a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I’m the one you must rely on.
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you’ve broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together.

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they’re leaving.
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving.
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita.
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita.


So the walls came tumbling down
And your love’s a blown out candle.
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle.
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet.


Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving.
You’ll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving.


Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita.
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, chiquitita.



Music is powerful! It reaches into the subconscious mind and brings forth feelings and actions that have changed lives. Krystal and I have experienced much in the ensuing weeks since my poignant experience with Chiquitita. Not only have I been continuing to feel more and more in harmony within my own being, but I have been getting a more clear vision of how my harmony will, potentially, increase and bless the lives of others, rippling out to bring a harmonious, joy-filled world where, truly, "the hills are alive with the sound of music!"


To recap some of the highlights:

Three weekends ago, the plans that Krystal and I had had for that weekend to go to "El Oriente" (the rain forest) and visit some new friends, learning about the people and their needs in that part of Ecuador, were changed at the last moment. Other plans had come up for those who were also involved and who were going to take us there and act as translators. This propeled me to take us (via bus) to "La Mitad del Mundo" (the Middle of the World) just outside of Quito. This monument marks the place where scientists collaborated and marked the exact point of the equator.

Here I am holding the world in my right hand while Krystal straddles the equator, a foot in both the northern and southern hemispheres.

Krystal is looking over a serene setting in the middle of the park-like atmosphere of the cultural center.

Krystal is playing with a young girl on one of the fun park features. She loved this spider-web type contraption that I would spin around and around for them!

A dear friend had told me about a man and his wife that she had taken lessons from years past who would teach about Ecuador, the people, culture, and real estate. She gave me their contact information and the wife and I emailed back and forth a few times. She invited me to Cotacachi for that coming weekend, where they had a beautiful hotel and were offering a seminar for those looking to do business in Ecuador. Their attorney would be presenting info on acquiring VISA's. I thought that this might be just the opportunity that I needed to find answers to what I could do to lengthen my stay--perhaps forever. Although the seminar was several days long, I was invited to freely attend the Sunday class. At the last moment, I found out that the attorney was speaking Saturday morning--and I had no way to get there in time to hear him. Since Cotacachi is relatively close to San Pablo and I had been invited to be in San Pablo for Saturday and Sunday to again stay with the Romero family, I decided to go anyway, and Anna Marie (a new friend and one of the Romero family) came with me to the morning session.

Cotacachi is a beautiful, clean city. It is amazing what a bit of vision and attention to detail, coupled with money being pumped into the town by outsiders, can achieve. What a stark contrast it offered me to many of the other towns (which were laid out very similar to it).

Here is Anna Maria, outside the church in the middle of downtown Cotacachi.

This last weekend, Krystal and I again went to San Pablo. The purpose this time was for Diego Romero (previously referred to as Diego #2) and I to have time to share and explore some possibly related thoughts. Several times I had been told by his relatives that I seem just like him (by both his sisters' families). Although they would share very little, they would marvel often about the apparent similarities.

I have been slowly learning that Diego has given up a lucrative musical career in Quito to move back to his family home in San Pablo with his father and give his life to the poor children there, filling their worlds with music and happiness. He is endeavoring to help the community (particularly its children) learn and enjoy music while finding their own peace and happiness.

Though Diego knows no english, and my spanish is faltering at best, we both knew that as we communicated our hearts, understanding and sharing would take place. It didn't take long before I realized that very possibly the reason why I was "called" to Ecuador was to reopen my dream of "Harmony House" and work in partnership with Diego. Could it be?

It is amazing how cohesive our dreams are! Eight years ago, when I was "shown a vision" of Harmony House, I saw a place of beauty, peace, and healing on all levels-- emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I saw a place of transcendent learning and sharing...a "place of true harmony."

As my (then) husband and children enthusiastically joined with me in our pursuit, we learned much from other somewhat similar ventures. My attorney husband did all the legal work necessary to attain 501C-3 non-profit status. During one particular visit with an orphan-placing foundation, C.A.S.I., it was determined that the home we would establish (then called "Harmony House for Children") could potentially be a prototype for the Chinese government to help them learn how to deal with their 80+million orphans in orphanages (97% of them being female--raised until the age of 12, at which time they were thus sold for slaves of one kind...or another). The President of the foundation asked me how many we would be able to provide care for. I quickly, whole-heartedly responded, "80 million!"

Well, his meetings with Madame Wang (the leader over all the orphanages in China), the leaders of the Chinese government, and those from the American government did not fare well at all. He came back to say that every door that could be closed, did--particularly by the American officials. When our funding did not come in, the ranch that we had found (through some most amazing experiences) fell through, and then, my marriage dissolved, I had pretty much wondered about that whole, amazing experience and put it "on the shelf" in the back of my mind until understanding came--knowing it would some day. (Much more of this incredible story is told in my forth-coming autobiography.)

I now get it!!! I won't share much in this venue, but, suffice it to say...I wasn't ready! I had much to learn, many attachments (relationships, things, belief systems, etc.) to let go of and rearrange in my mind and life. I had much refining to go through. I had the principles that I am now writing about in my book, "The JOY of Harmony--How to JOYfully Raise Happy Children," to fine-tune and begin sharing.

Now, however, it looks quite possible that the time and I are ripe. I believe the world is crying out (and not in harmony!) for a different vision, another song, another way of living and interacting. And now, I may have a partner who has similar values and who lives, similarly, from a peaceful, passionate heart, willing and ready to help heal a troubled world--one young soul at a time.

Again, I am living in the moment. Although I have a vision of what I want for the world, I'm not completely clear what each of the steps will be for my part in helping to get us there. I do have pieces of the puzzle and will endeavor to live in the NOW and let my life flow from one step to another as I do whatever I feel in my joy-filled heart is the needed.

Here, Krystal is playing with friendly girls in the street outside the Romero house in San Pablo.

Here is a photo of some of the group of students that Diego works with in the afternoons. There is definately a respect and deep bond they each have for him, and he for them.

Outside of the government building in the central square are many indigenous women who wait for their "hand out."

Diego took Krystal and I on a drive and hike a little ways outside of San Pablo. This is his favorite place. As I entered this beautiful valley, I was overcome with emotion. This was beyond beauty. Truly, this picture seemed to match the one I "saw" in my mind that day of late December 2000 when I first was given the understanding of "Harmony House."

Several water falls of various sizes grace this serene land that seems to have never been touched much by humans.

Another view. In the far distance you can see San Pablo lake.

Verdant, lush, gorgeous!

Krystal and Diego by the little mountain stream.

Here, Krystal plays with some of the local girls who were here enjoying the day with their family. They are music students of Diego's. Krystal is deciding that the water is just a bit too cold for her and is on her way out.

(I wish you could see her a few minutes later--nearly naked and sloshing in the rich, black, mud--nearly covered with it. Alas, my camera battery had died.)

My dream for Harmony House, which has been newly refueled, and seems to be shared by Diego, is as a self-sustaining community of peace, healing, learning, creating and love; a place where children without homes and support can be integrated and thrive, knowing they belong, are accepted, appreciated for their unique essence and have a feeling of being needed for their contributions. Harmony House will be a (largely) self-sufficient (food, clothing, water, power, natural healing, empowering in every way) place of peace where street children and orphans can come and find solace, genuine love and healing, growing to maturity in wisdom. It is a community of family-type homes where music and true, passionate education (of the heart and mind together) fill the individual and society. I see Harmony House as a seedbed for a new kind of human, a being who is no longer a victim, no longer lonely, depressed, angry, but empowered and joy-filled as each interdependently and respectfully lives the golden rule and grows UP happy, productive citizens of society.

Early in 2003, I awoke one morning with the "knowing" that I must prepare myself, for one day I would be leading the children of this world in a grand choir of peaceful, empowering, song. (At that time, my understanding was that it was "my" birth children that the message must be implying.) I began immediately to glean from my vast reservoir of music a simple collection of songs that seemed to fit this need. Since then (and, indeed, throughout my life) I have composed simple little tunes of empowerment and joy, sharing them with the children in my "world" and watching as this music has made deep impressions in each of our lives. As I sold off basically everything I owned this last summer to begin this venture, gratefully, I still have access to this music. I KNOW that further music will be written and come forth to aid in this grand healing venture as we each join--in harmony--in a grand "Multi-Verse."

Diego says that the name "Harmony House" ("La Casa de Harmonia" in spanish) "!es perfecto!" Without the addition of ..."for Children" it keeps the implication that ALL who join in the effort and vision will share in the harmony and healing--not just "children." For, indeed, each one of us has a "child" still alive and waiting to be heard and healed living within our own heart.

Years ago, I was "given" the principles for TRUE education. Although I have greatly fine-tuned these through the years, I have named this style of education "Lighthouse Academy." In addition to the healing principles that I have learned (physical, mental and emotional), this education will be utilized in Harmony House. The BASIC needs will be provided for along with the governing laws being: equality, everyone lives by "The Golden Rule," and the pursuit of happiness is the reason for living and interacting, AS IT IS MADE POSSIBLE.

The nearby communities and volunteering artisans and workmen (as well as interested parties from around the world!) will intermingle with Harmony House members to mentor and assist (while also being held to the governing laws), training those who are interested in their art and skill. The children will then be able to sell their works to others to provide not only opportunities to learn and contribute, but to receive personal monetary remuneration for their desires not covered by the basic necessities provided by Harmony House.

Although I truly did not know why my sudden impetus this summer to sell everything and go live in Ecuador, I did have some vague notions why. As I wrote in my letter (which is my first blog post) of July 4th, 2008: "Again, where my life will continue to lead, where I will go from there, I can’t even guess. It is likely that I will help in orphanages. I might open a school of some kind. Perhaps I will make and sell my “green drinks” and smoothies. Perhaps I will do nothing more than walk among the poor and bind up their hearts as I laugh with and interact with them. Whatever I find to do to sustain us and fulfill our inner joy in life, I am fairly sure it will involve children and parents, music and laughter. All I know is that life is a grand adventure; love IS the (only) answer; the injunction to “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”—always—is the only road to true and lasting peace."

As I have shared bits of my dream for Harmony House (and its expansion to help create a peace-filled world), Diego has jumped in and gone to my next sentence. Saturday, as Krystal and I were walking around the town of San Pablo, I saw in my mind how I wanted the layout of the community to be. When we got home and I shared that with Diego, he picked up my notebook and quickly sketched it out, showing me his bracelet that had the symbolic representation on it. Then, he went and got his many year's old notebook where he had written his dream, along with the same lay-out drawn in it.

Even at this early stage in our partnering, there are many synchronicities. To me, it feels like I have found a dear, long-separated brother. I'm sure we go way back and have had many similar experiences together--before this life. As Diego and I went to an internet cafe in town to see the slideshow on the Worldwide United Foundation (http://www.wwunited.org/) he was thrilled! Here was his dream from many years past all written down and ready for humanity. He enthusiastically signed the declaration.

Diego shared with me a pivotal chapter of his life. From my understanding of what he shared, when he was eight years old, he was profoundly ill, affecting the bones of his body. The medical community, who called upon many experts, were at a loss of what else they might try to bring him relief from his tremendous pain and to alleviate his suffering--having lost hope in finding a source of healing. Then, somehow, he was introduced to music. He immediately began to heal, find great passion and, his life has never been the same since. Music was his "savior" and has been his way-shower to help bless the lives of many others.

Sunday, I was able to briefly meet a Catholic Father who has a self-sustaining (and very beautiful) home for Aids children there in San Pablo. He has said that his home is my home and that I am invited to visit, question, and learn from what he has put together. Although very different from that which Diego and I endeavor to build, there are many common themes. I also was able to meet Diego's friend who is working to enliven the town to take care of the buildings and find self-respect in bettering their lives. Also, Diego introduced me to another friend who is a member of the government of the Imbaburra Province. With each of these we briefly shared our "project."

Both Diego and I smilingly acknowledge that there are many who consider us each "loco" (stupid or foolish). I have learned that I really don't care much what any other thinks of me. Indeed, there is great freedom in living as a "fool." My desire is to follow the passionate barometer of my own heart and live my joy as I, perhaps, bless the lives of others. This I will do.

There are still many unknowns. Is this the right time for Harmony House? Am I yet ready? How will we proceed? In pooling everything we each own, we have scant resources and very little money to begin. BUT...we each have deep desires to bless humanity and fill the hills, mountains, lowlands far and wide with music, healing, harmony and happiness. With this passion, there is no way we will not at least make some progress and leave the world a little better than we have found it.

Perhaps Harmony House will begin here in Ecuador and serve as a prototype for further areas of the world. With the extreme poverty and the 80% illiteracy rate in San Pablo, it seems a good place to start.

Diego and I certainly can not do this alone. Perhaps there are others who will feel to help us in this venture. I have the vision, I have some helpful experiences and, of course, my driving passion, but certainly there are others of like heart who will step forward to offer what they can.

We each have a lot to do, together and separately, to get this project going, but one foot in front of the other, receiving direction from our hearts and peaceful minds...IT SHALL BE DONE.

I have a dream. My dream and peaceful joy will lead my footsteps, guide my hands, be my voice. I believe that by living and bringing forth my dream, many, many lives will be healed and made whole. At least mine will.

Chiquitita (little girl), you CAN sing a new song. A song of hope. A song of JOY. A song of LIFE.

Last night, while preparing for bed, I felt a "shift" of some kind come over me. I realized that I was experiencing a profoundly deep level of patience...peace...allowing. As I pondered on the singularity of the feeling, I realized that the last few weeks I had not been feeling this much continual peace on this deep a level. Instead, somewhere in the back part of my mind, I had been wondering and searching for just HOW to establish the contacts and how to maneuver extending my stay long-term here in Ecuador. I knew that I still had so very much to do! I had been sensing that my time here was possibly ticking away. Had I accomplished what I had come here for? Although for every possible moment of every day I have been working on my books and caring for those other bits of life that need attention (often during the night while Krystal--and the rest of the world--sleeps), it seemed that I was not making nearly the progress that I want. With all that I have been continuing to learn and put together that I passionately want to share and help others with (including feeling my own passionate JOY in the learning/discovering/remembering/sharing process), I have more now than ever that I want to bring forth, write about and accomplish. (Much more than will fit in just "one book" to write. Many volumes.)

But, now, I realize, it's all okay...truly okay. If I have to leave here tomorrow, I am at peace. If I have not been granted a VISA or found another way to remain in Ecuador and have to utilize my airline tickets back to Arizona on December 18th, that is okay. AND, if the way somehow does open up and I am allowed to stay here and do the work that seems to be coming into greater clarity within my heart and mind, that's okay, too. I am not the ultimate overseer of this world...just my "own world." Whatever the appropriate timing, whatever the real project, I will remain awake in my soul and vigilant in following its call. In patience. And peace. And harmony. Considering what I've been learning and experiencing, this deep level of allowance with 'whatever is to be' is significantly poignant.

I now leave the reader in peace...

and harmony.

Until we meet again, over the great "net" or in person,

Kimberly

Keep smiling! :-)

Face to Face with "Michelle"--My Belle

I have had problems with my printer and computer since arriving here. While taking my printer in for servicing one day last week, I passed a young toddler seated on a filthy cushion on the street corner--a box of chicklet (gum) to sell by her side. Her mother was no where to be seen, although there were several people walking up and down the streets, entreating the car drivers and those walking to buy their goods.

I was appalled!. This was a tiny girl, all by herself. As I quietly walked up behind a tree to take a picture of her, she saw me and eagerly, authoritatively, ran to me, saying: "Give me money! Give me money, please. PLEASE give me money!!! I have nothing to eat." (This was said in Spanish.) I bought a package of gum from her, to which she nearly snatched the dime from my hand. I asked her what her name was: "Michelle" was her reply. Michelle answered my next question that she was two years old. She was the most assertive two-year-old I have ever met (and I have met and interacted with many!).

As I left Michelle, I began weeping. The two young men with me tried to console me by saying that "this was normal. There are many children just like this throughout the country. It's normal. These children have experienced much, like a 60 year old man."

How my heart yearned to hold her (and each of these other children) in my arms and to help fill their empty stomachs and hearts. Oh! For each child in our global family to feel loved, appreciated, to have their physical and emotional needs met so that they were free to pursue their own, unique HAPPINESS!

I have been told that many parents have children precisely so that they can set them out on the streets to work for money for the family. Possibly, it was Michelle's older sister (about 14, perhaps) who had a tiny baby strapped to her back, walking up and down through the cars on the street, selling her wares. Other parents "rent" their children out to work for others. Some of these parents never see their children again. Sometimes these children are found having been physically and emotionally violated. The now-deceased father of the family I'm renting from took a young girl in and raised her for a time when she was young, alleviating her family from providing for one more mouth to feed and body to clothe.

Oh, how often my eyes are flooding with tears. I have a work to do, a passion in my heart to listen to and follow. Somehow, My life will not be "in vain." Little Michelle, finding a way to help implement the Worldwide United Foundation's plan will guide my life and thoughts. I pledge to you and the millions of others--in Ecuador, and worldwide--that your life will be blessed because of mine. This hope and picture in my mind bring me great joy and light a flame that will not be extinguished.

Michelle--lyrics (Lennon/McCartney)

Michelle, my belle*. These are words that go together well, my Michelle.

Michelle, my belle. Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble.**

I love you, I love you, I love you. That's all I want to say.

Until I find a way I will say the only words I know that you'll understand.

Michelle, my belle. Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble. I need to, I need to, I need to. I need to make you see, oh, what you mean to me. Until I do I'm hoping you will know what I mean. I love you. I want you, I want you, I want you. I think you know by now I'll get to you somehow. Until I do I'm telling you so you'll understand.

Michelle, my belle. Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble. I will say the only words I know that you'll understand, my Michelle.

(*Beauty)

(**Are the words which go together well, go together well.)

Last weekend, the people I'm renting from took Krystal and I to San Pablo--a tiny village about two hours north of Quito. This was our first excursion out of Quito in the 5 weeks we've been here. In this tiny village, which lay among verdant fields, mountains and lakes, was squallor and poverty. The dirt and stone streets that were in decay among the houses and stores were likewise, filled with those begging and selling. And yet...

the weekend we were there was their annual birthday celebration. What comaraderie and sense of "family" they exuded. We were able to join in with their music, dancing, and fireworks. Fun!

Here is a hand-crafted and assembled "work of fire" that turned, twisted, and progressively lit itself as those assembled looked on. And the band played on....

Here is Krystal with her new friend, Stephanie, and her father Ricardo (the one who picked me up from the airport and has helped me much in getting established and learning the language). Also in the picture are Fernando Sr. and his wife Elena. Fernando is my friend, Fernando's, father. He and Elena have invited Krystal and I to their house tomorrow for a long weekend. They live in "El Oriente"--in the Amazon Rain Forest. According to them, the real poverty is there.

Here is Krystal and Hugo, washing the vegetables for a dinner in the huge sink outdoors.

Techi allowed Krystal to help bake a cake. Krystal was thrilled with each step of the process. Here she is licking the batters to the frosting she just helped make.

Patti and Techi preparing dinner in the kitchen.

With Diego (another Diego--Ricardo's brother-in-law) we go to the Otovallo Market. Here is a man cutting open coconuts to sell for their milk.

Such beautiful handcrafts of all sorts for sale. Incredible workmanship at very cheap prices.

Here, a young woman poses with her hand-embroidered and sewn blouses. Exquisite!

Until next time......

Smiles as we each follow the barometer of our heart!

Kimberly

One Month Today! October 20, 2008

Yea! I figured out how to upload photos to the blog! I have a lot of pictures I'd like to share of our experiences so far in Quito. Here we go.........!

The first picture is during our "Early Morning Good-bye" as Krystal and I leave for the airport (September 20th, 2008).

Here is one of the favorite viewpoints of Quito, "El Panecillo." "The Virgin of Quito" is made of aluminum and consists of 7,000 pieces, considered to be the largest aluminum statue in the world. Among other things, it shows the Virgin having overcome and holding the chains on the serpent as she raises her right hand. Interesting. The hill has also served religious purposes as a temple to revere the sun.





Here we are outside of the "San Francisco Cathedral." There are so very many elaborate, ostentaciously decorated and designed churches. I have read how it was the sign of power for a developing city to build as many churches as possible, as quickly as possible, to set itself up as a force to be reckoned with. To see the extensive gold facade and incredible attention to detail in these churches is heart-wrenching, especially when so many poor men, women and children hovel so close outside their doors--many having given nearly every penny they ever acquire to "their savior" and church. Oh, how my heart aches for this massive delusion. Hopefully, I am here to help...

Here are Krystal and Diego as the camera looks toward the altar inside the San Francisco Cathedral.

Here is Krystal and I on "Liberty Square"--dedicated on my birthday, August 10th.

I met two young men (19 years old) from Quebec, Canada, yesterday, named Vincent and Sebastien, that have just started (as of that morning) to travel, by foot and back packs, South America to see and experience the people and cultures. We kept running into each other in the park (where thousands of other people were out in social exchanges, playing, selling and buying, begging, etc.) until we decided that we must be "supposed" to meet and get to know each other. We ended up with them coming to the apartment and having watermelon with us and talking. They saw the slide show on the Worldwide United Foundation site and immediately resonated with it, both signing the declaration.

It turns out they are between college and university studies. One is going into teaching young children and music and wants to end up either in northern Quebec or Africa, working among the poor. The other wants to pursue organizational management and work (with his friend in some way) with a non-profit organization helping homeless children. They left, excited to spread the word of the Worldwide United Foundations' plan TO HELP EVERYONE as they travel throughout South America and meet people--and then back home with their groups of friends.

Another friend, Roy, called me yesterday after arriving home from a conference in Texas where he is pursuing building geodesic dome homes, which he wants to do for the poor as well as for places of healing. His best friend and boss is in Lima, Peru next week and may come up to meet me to see about starting building homes for the poor here in Ecuador. He had some excellent thoughts and has a great heart. It's amazing to see the synchronicities that are coming together with those of like mind and heart.

Beth called last night, excited, to share that she had just gotten off the phone with a dear friend from twenty years ago (when she was in Ecuador) who is a dentist and is also married to a dentist and now living in Las Vegas. She had not been in contact with her for a long time. She found out that her friend's oldest daughter, living here in Quito, had just had her first baby the day before and had been sent home from the hospital after having a C-section the next day. Could I visit her? With all my experiences giving birth and caring for babies and newborns as well as the desires of my heart, perhaps I can somehow help her. I will call her today and see what I can do. Her mother, Beth's friend, will be here in a week and a half and will take me to an orphanage that she used to have experience with.

Here is a scene from the street right near our apartment. It is very typical of the downtown area.

Krystal and I began last week to help at an orphanage "Hogar San Vicente de Paul" on Wednesdays. It is fun to see her "mimic" me as she helps them. We were mostly with the two-year-olds, so she was just older than them.

If you look closely at their playground, you will notice that every toy is broken and would probably be in a junkyard if it were in the U.S.

I have been told that this is probably one of the nicer orphanages in all of Ecuador.

I have desires to find and help at others, particularly one called the "Zambiza Dump" where children play while their parents find their day's food.

Here is Krystal, all ready for her first day of school. She is enjoying her preschool, "The Sunrise House" and will begin today to stay until four o'clock in the afternoon (Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday)--hopefully this will help her more with socializing and integrating, and give me more concentrated time to do my "work." A few days before she began school, and just a couple days after we had found it and made arrangements, she began giggling in her sleep in the middle of the night. Still asleep, she said, "We're in Ecuador. I love Ecuador! I'm going to preschool in Ecuador!" At this point, she had woken herself and we hugged and giggled together. This was a very validating experience for me.

I am amazed at how well she has adjusted. Although there have been a few times that she has mentioned "I miss ______," she has been so accepting of this huge change in her life. Her teacher tells me that she is just barely now beginning to say a few words in spanish during school. Krystal tells me that she only talks by "nodding her head." I read her stories in both spanish and english and help prompt her from time-to-time as we are interacting with others. She is beginning to initiate "Como estas?" and "gracias" and "buenas noches." I'm sure her language attempts will continue to grow as she feels more solidly a part of the culture.

We have had a great time walking and watching and interacting (at least on our somewhat limited basis) with the people, food, language and culture. As I had packed mostly warmer-climate-clothes for myself (what I had mostly been wearing in Arizona), we have had to buy ourselves a few sweaters, slippers and warmer things while here (from the indigenous market). Although there are very hot, humid places in Ecuador (or so I've been told), Quito is definately NOT one of them. Yesterday I found some knitted gloves without the finger tips that I am now able to wear while working at the computer. Yea!!! My hands can stay warm now while I type!
The owners of the apartment I'm renting from agreed this weekend to getting a better shower water heater. Hopefully, soon, we will be able to take warm showers and baths again! Also, I have permission to have the curtain fixed and put up in the bedroom so that we can have some privacy.

This is Krystal with Luis, one of the native musicians who plays often at the city park we like to go to.

Here she is on one of the climbing/sliding toys.

A friend of Diego's, Carolina, took Krystal and I to an orphanage and an infirmary. She had been raised by a mother who felt it was important that she and her sisters develop a heart of compassion. Regularly they had gone to help at this orphanage. Later, her mother and a friend established an infirmary, a home for the sick elderly and dying. Although we weren't allowed into the rooms of the infirmary with Krystal, I will go back at a later time to see if I may be of help there.

These are just some of the "fortuitous" experiences I am having. It's amazing to see how people are coming into my life with similar hearts and desires. I am not seeking them out, things are just "flowing." It's fun to watch! It's almost like a grand puzzle putting itself together. Today marks the one-month mark that we have been here. Will we return home in December??? Will we come in contact with some kind of agency/organization and be able to gain a Visa for long-term staying? We'll see what puts itself together.

Keep smiling and giggling as you continue to "DUO" (do unto others as you would have others do unto you)!

Kimberly

THIS is LIVING! :-)

My Dearest Friends~

This is both an update and an invitation...

For any who remember, I have had a tremendous change of life open up for me--unknowingly solicited from deep within my own heart.

Since the end of June, when my "call", my heart's call, came, I have consolidated, organized, and sold off EVERYTHING. I have relinquished my "livelihood"--my preschool business--while helping to accommodate a smooth and peaceful transition for each child and family. This was amazingly undertaken as my dear friend (and spiritual sister), Beth, welcomed them each into her own preschool (which amazingly had just the perfect number of empty "slots" for each of my students AND had a change of location just at the perfect timing which enabled it all to work for each one!) I have helped my daughter update our family scrapbooks, "done" my 2008 taxes, found renters to take over the lease on my house, given one final (?) "JOY of Harmony Seminar" in the United States, and taken care of so many additional details. I have "wrapped up" relationships and lovingly and respectfully said my "good-byes."

It was an amazing few weeks. Although it would have been far easier (and more to my natural propensity) to have just GIVEN every THING away that I "owned" (and that had "attached" itself to me and my "life"), I held three garage sales, placed numerous ads, and through word-of-mouth was able to sell or give away everything I had accumulated in my (in August) 46 years that I had not as yet let go of--from piano, sectional, computer, bookshelves, books, TVs, kitchen appliances, preschool toys and materials, clothes, bedroom furniture, etc. etc. etc.

There were panicked pre-school parents and several others who expressed deep horror and sadness about my extricating myself from such an integral place in their lives. Others offered other perspectives of "fear" and "loss," some even trying to psychoanalyze my "irrational behavior." Many others expressed very warm and encouraging views, hoping to perhaps join with me in the near future. One even volunteered to rescue Krystal and raise her until I came back to my senses and the "land of the free". Each shared their own perspective. I listened to and validated each one, holding firmly to the light within myself. For in my own heart, unknown to my "rational" mind, came the deep and penetrating call that we would be all right and that I would continue to "feel" my way through the "unknowns" to the place where I could most serve and bless and, thus, find the greatest joy for myself and others.

Of most importance to me in this time of transition was strengthening the already deep bonds I had with my eight children who would not be accompanying me in this unprecedented move. How I thrilled as they each shared of their hearts and support for me. A couple gave a little grin as they slightly shook their heads and said, "That's just you, mom. You've always wanted to do something like this." I earnestly spent every moment I possibly could validating and encouraging them each in their own unique paths.

Yes, there were tears. Yes, we will miss each other. But, I KNOW, that "in the end" it's all good! I so look forward to the day that they will be more a part of my life and living (I believe) possibly closer to their own heart's compass. It will be of most interest to watch and support them--even from "afar" as they journey through their own paths.

Through the 12 or so weeks of transition, I had the sense that I was preparing for my own "death" and that I had been informed I had three months to live. What a tremendous opportunity I had: to take care of as many details and lovingly prepare those around me for my "transition." At times it felt surreal. Truly, I WAS "burying" the old me...the me that had tried to be "me" yet had also bought in to all the other programming of those in my life (parents, teachers, culture, religion, "experts," etc.) and had, in some ways, tried to live up to their expectations and requirements for "me," too. Yes, this person that "I" and others knew as "me" was being buried, her ashes spread or collected in a few "keepsake memorabilia urns" or embedded in a few hearts. The new, truer "ME" would be rising from those ashes and living a new life--this time TRULY ALIVE.

Yes, there were a few moments when I thought: "What AM I Doing???" I did shed several tears as I contemplated the lack of physical contact that I would have with so many dear to me. After all, there WERE innumerable unknowns and "what if's???". This truly was a venture with no "guide book" or any other "wise one" holding my hand. Though it would most definitely have been easier to have been going with another individual (or a group!) or without a young child looking up to me for her needs and guidance, I had the deep "knowing" that, at this leg of the journey, I must be going it "alone."

I also knew that even if I DID make a huge "mistake" (or a whole slew of them, for that matter!) that I would not really learn or grow by staying in relative security and by taking no real risks, never branching out into the unknown. I could learn from those "mistakes." AND, if I were to ignore the deep, warm calling of my heart to TAKE THIS NEXT STEP, I would never again know the peace that I had already established in my life, much less grow to a level of greater peace, joy and wisdom BEYOND.

Just a few days before my trip, I was offered an opportunity to rent an apartment in downtown Quito. I accepted it and am now renting a comfortable one-room apartment from a warm family who has opened their own home and hearts to Krystal and I, making our first few days here very pleasant while offering the help they could. I have felt deeply grateful and cognizant that this is one more area where "divine intervention" has been working behind the scenes.

Also, I had desired to keep using my car as long as I possibly could before my move. Although I did not officially "put it up for sell," one family expressed persistent interest in it and tried to get me to greatly reduce the price I had thought was very fair. I held firm, knowing that the sell of the car (as well as every other detail in my life) would weave itself together as I proceeded, not in haste or fear, but in confidence and peace. Two days before my departure, Marti, a dear friend, volunteered to handle the selling of my car. So, without any real attempt on my part, and in a matter of just a few days, she sold the car for me at a higher price than I was even asking and was able to get hundreds more for it than I was even expecting.

I have now been in Quito, Ecuador for exactly two weeks. Although we nearly missed our flight (we were "hanging out" in the airport with my daughter Alyssa and friend, Beth) because of a sudden swell in the lines through security and (unknown to us) early boarding, the flights themselves were largely smooth and uneventful. Krystal was amazingly calm and peacefully interested during both flights -- which encompassed all the day of the 20th. We arrived near midnight and, after pretty-much being waived through customs (because of the late hour and my young child?) we were greeted by a most welcome, well-written sign ("Kimberly Wallis") and smile on Ricardo's face (the before-unknown uncle of another new friend, Fernando).

Originally, I was told that I could have this apartment for a month. The morning after I got here, however, the family informed me that they had just talked with their mother/grandmother (the one who often used it) and told her about me. She had volunteered to stay with them in their home on her visits and so... the apartment was now mine for as long as I wanted it. They have truly opened up their hearts and their home, their dining room table, kitchen, time and lives to Krystal and I. I stand all amazed at the compassion and kindness shown to "strangers."

Krystal and I have taken many walks and trolley car rides throughout the town while we have attempted to get to know our new surroundings and its people and customs, set up our new "home" and supplying the simple "things" that would help our "home" be more accommodating: food, ultra-simple kitchen tools and supplies, etc. One of the large city parks that is thronged by many (vendors, musicians, students after school, lovers, etc.) is just a short ten minute walk away. I have thrilled to see Krystal rise in her ability to approach an unknown child with her attempts to speak a few words in a still-foreign tongue and find a friend to play with her on the playground.

I endeavor to learn the language as rapidly as possible. I believe that through this process (truly one of "immersion") and the study and attention (and music and children's stories with Krystal!) I will be able to. I have so very much to share! So much I want to lift and bless and become a true part of. One dear friend/brother wrote to me: "I feel that the miracle you seek (in communicating) lies within yourself. Love is a universal language, let it speak, let it shine." His words echoed my own heart and brought greater peace. Truly, I am one of these "little ones" that I seek to bless, too! I can be patient with myself in my learning process. My love and warm smiles DO shine and ARE felt by others. (Yes, I see the smiles and the rolled eyes, too, as I stammeringly attempt to negotiate purchases and communicate with my new friends... :-) )

It is impossible NOT to see the impoverishment in this city. Living in the middle of "down-town," we leave the ground-level door to our building (we are on the 4th floor/roof) and turn our heads either way and are immediately at different "shops." The beggars sit on the sides of the street. The drunk lies sleeping in his vomit. The young and old continually implore us to buy their wares (from "chicklet" [gum] to batteries to lottery tickets to the native fruits and foods...). Young babies sit in boxes at their mothers' sides, or wrapped in a sheet on their bodies. Toddlers play nearby. As we board buses and trolley cars to take us on more distant excursions, sellers also frequently board to bark their items to a captive audience. Always I desire to give my deep eye contact and encouraging word. Though I, at times, oblige and buy some small item or foodstuff, most often I quietly shake my head "No, gracias," feeling in my heart that perhaps my gift to this individual through my life, my book and its message will help more than the temporary 20 cents or so.

Although dramatically different from the relatively quiet neighborhood street of our former home in suburban Gilbert, Arizona, these people are every bit my "brothers and sisters" and endeavoring to live their lives as they see fit. People are, after all, people; unique, wonderful, each trying to fit in and find themselves as they can while caring for their continual needs.

Coincidentally (???) our home is very close to the main street that runs the entire length of the city and glues the city together, "10 de Agosto" --the day of the country's first cry for liberation--my birthday--August 10th.

Residents of Quito have remarked, confounded, that Krystal and I have not experienced one moment of altitude sickness. I have been told that for most all people, coming from the elevation we did, to this two-mile-high city, typically involves nausea and vomiting, disorientation and other difficulties. Likewise, we did fine with the air travel and didn't experience the typical "jet lag." I DID, a few days ago, however, suffer from too graciously accepting the offers to eat (too much and too often!) of the native food. Probably the greatest culprit was my enthusiastic indulgence in the sweet, caramelly concoction gifted to me by the man I'm renting from and indigenous of the Ecuadorian coast (his native land). YUM!!! It reminds me of the caramel toffee my grandmother would bring back from her visits to Canada-- just softer and with flakes of coconut. Well, the next day I paid for it (as I would have living in the states, too)! I was re-minded that my simple diet can take a LITTLE bit of "tweaking" now and again, but NOT a few meals all in a row!

The rooster on the roof next door (just outside our bedroom window) earnestly wakes us between 4:30 and 5:00 in the morning (depending on cloud cover and pollution ;-) ). I have also learned to listen intently to the "just right" sound of the shower indicating that I have set the faucet at the exact (split-hair) setting to give us luke-warm (sometimes even WARM! for a few seconds or minute!) water. The water everywhere else in the apartment is ALWAYS freezing cold. Though originally built with both hot and cold running water, I was told that the hot water pipes burst about ten years ago and they are unable to be fixed. Downtown, where we are, 90% of the buildings have running water. Outside of downtown, there are most that are not so fortunate.

Growing up, I was "programmed" by my family of origin that to be "dirty" was a disgusting and flagrant travesty. Oh, the pride! Oh, the lack of understanding! As Quito was far more "cool" than I had anticipated (being about 40-65 degrees fahrenheight inside our apartment at any given time--although outside is like a continual, likely-to-change-any-moment "spring") it took me several days of practicing to find my confidence with the shower faucet and be brave enough to give Krystal a shower. And, though I do not feel comfortable with how my hair looks or feels if I go more than a day without washing it, I have been very often glad that I have (many years ago) learned to "condition" my hair AFTER the shower is over, thus, cutting down a whole minute or two of possible cold water.

Because of all I had to weave together in those last few weeks of preparing for this move, I had not responded to emails and details of life that were not of utmost precedent. Though I endeavored to always flow through my experience in peace, there were many friends and relationships that I "put on hold" until I had a moment to think and feel my way through to respond. Then, being without the internet in this new venture for many days, it has for these last couple days, been most thrilling to be able to slowly find the time to begin to reconnect with each one.

This last week, I have spent considerable thought and time (and been most wondrously helped by Diego and Ricardo) and have found what I believe to be a wonderful opportunity for Krystal. Weekday mornings in a preschool called "The Sunrise House" will offer her an experience to socialize, make new friends, learn the spanish language and and culture while continuing to grow and thrive in ways that I can not offer myself. Then, in the afternoons (working around her naps when possible), we can venture together to volunteer in the orphanages, mingle with the indigenous, care for our home, or whatever. I am so glad for this opportunity for Krystal, AND look forward to having time open up for me to do those things of my heart.

I intend to continue my writings and feel my way into this new situation. Perhaps I will get a part-time job in a school. I hope to have as much opportunity to use my life in truly interacting with those who could benefit the most. I have just been introduced to a woman who is enthusiastically taking me to a couple of orphanages this coming Thursday morning. Another day this week I intend to find my way to the part of town where the "street children" are most prolific and personally begin to learn what I can of that situation.

Though I am still "feeling my way" through this transition and endeavoring to establish myself in this new culture as I see how I can best "LIVE" and help others, one thing, above any other, stands out to me the most:

I FEEL SOOOOOOO FREE!

I had had NO IDEA that each "thing" I had held on to as being "needed" and part of the Almighty "American Dream" was really one more "weight" on my shoulders, one more chain around me, locking me in a virtual "prison." I now feel so very liberated! Perhaps the greatest gift I have to offer the "poor" Ecuadorian people is that "IT'S ALL BACKWARDS!!!" "Don't listen to anyone else! YOU are not the poor! YOU are not slaves to society's requirements of "the Good Life"! By having nothing--YOU are unencumbered by STUFF! The body needs farrrrr less to live on and does amazingly better with only a small fruit or two a day! YOU are the RICH! Smile and FEEL Alive and you will begin to really LIVE and enJOY life! Or, as a friend recently said, "They are poor because they 'believe' they are poor because of the monetary image burned in their mind with materialism." Just maybe I can help someone else change their "vision," their mind and beliefs of "the good life."

Having lived now on both sides: coming from a "gorgeous" 7,000 square foot home on the hill with an acre of ground and mountain surrounding us (8 bedrooms, 7 toilets), proceeding through my divorce to smaller and smaller, less and less...I NOW realize that having little to nothing, with very little monetary obligations, relatively few bills, no stress, no time-demands...I FEEL SO FREE! I had heard it said that "The richest man is he who needs the least." I have proved it true for myself.

Now, while so much of the world is in a great economic frenzy; when gas is at an all-time-high, curtailing the ability for most to venture as far as desired; when the cost of "food" has skyrocketed; when that which is called "food" is raised on vastly nutritionally-deprived soil, blasted with toxic chemicals, the seeds-themselves genetically modified (a.k.a. destroyed from their former divinely created state), irradiated, heated so that many essential elements and catalysts are destroyed, gassed, wrapped in artificial environments of plastic, styrofoam and metals, transferred over hundreds or thousands of miles, processed beyond any recognition of their "nature-intended" state...; when people toil and struggle and stress and lose sleep over keeping (or finding) their jobs, paying their bills, keeping the kids full (and out of their hair); when all the above (and so much more) keep those "civilized" folk day-after-day digging their own graves while suffering from stress and depression, etc....

I can whistle and smile and giggle and LIVE. I can find and bring to the world the "true" ME. Perhaps I can even shine a light that will help another find THEIR "true" self. Oh...what...JOY. When people were behind-my-back discussing whether I was "brave," or crazy, I'm just grateful that I continued to place one foot in front of the other--to find...ME.

I have, indeed, been witnessing that LAUGHTER HAS NO ACCENT. My smiles, laughter, attempts to joke have increased the happiness of others around me. There are at those times no language barriers, no cultural differences. We are truly brothers and sisters.

What will tomorrow bring? What will I find to DO and BE??? I'll see.... And, hopefully, each day my "seeing" will be a little clearer, a little more "real."

Hopefully, at some point soon, I will be able to more fully introduce the already-established-and-waiting plan of the Worldwide United Foundation (www.wwunited.org) to help EACH person breathing have their own basic necessities and end their toil and struggle, thus empowering them to find THEMSELVES. Perhaps the more humble here in Ecuador will be receptive to its goal. Meanwhile, I share as much as I can with whomever seems ready (and in my halting tongue). My vision is firmly focused on a harmonious, joy-filled future FOR ALL! I will request that the cards, brochures and website be translated, published and available as soon as possible into spanish.

For any who may be interested, I desire to continue to share my learnings and experiences through my life's path. Tune in next time...:-)

Meanwhile, the lyrics to this song (and the link to the You Tube) express my heart at this point.

This is my new theme song: "I Want to Live" (by John Denver)

There are children raised in sorrow
On a scorched and barren plain
There are children raised beneath a golden sun
There are children of the water
Children of the sand
And they cry out through the universe
Their voices raised as one

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

Have you gazed out on the ocean
Seen the breaching of a whale?
Have you watched the dolphins frolic in the foam?
Have you heard the song the humpback hears five hundred miles away
Telling tales of ancient history of passages and home?

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

For the worker and the warrior the lover and the liar
For the native and the wanderer in kind
For the maker and the user and the mother and her son
I am looking for my family and all of you are mine

We are standing all together
Face to face and arm in arm
We are standing on the threshold of a dream
No more hunger no more killing
No more wasting life away
It is simply an idea
And I know its time has come

I want to live I want to grow
I want to see I want to know
I want to share what I can give
I want to be I want to live

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI-ABFXylJU

Hasta Manana,
Kimberly