Merry X-Day! (January 6, 2011--1/6/11)

Much of today has seemed like a kind of "Christmas" for me. I feel like the Universe is (unawares of most of sleeping humanity), like a loving parent who has expectantly planned and prepared for this time...eager to see my delighted and so-very-grateful unwrappings. Without words, I speechlessly bow my head.

Thank you Santa! :-)

Beauty (January 5, 2011--1/5/11)

How beautiful people seem to me. What a privilege I feel when I am permitted entrance into someone's heart and they feel free to share who they see themselves to be. Although I can always find the beauty in a person, their beauty multiplies greatly in my eyes when they are able to be honest...with themselves and with me and others. *THIS* is who I am... all the warts, weaknesses, imperfections included. How rare this quality is...that of accepting "Beauty" AND "The Beast" and realizing "It's ALL Good!" God don't make no junk!!! :-) Just 6.6 BILLION different flavors (compared to Baskin and Robbin's 31!)...all serving their own purpose...unique and delicious in their own right and way.

I had the opportunity to meet and visit with a person who seemed much more honest than most. What a joy for me to reflect back to them the tremendous beauty that I saw.

I pondered upon how NONE of us mortals REALLY *KNOW* and completely accept WHO WE ARE...completely...100%. We all are living (to varying degrees) under the delusion of "mistaken identity". All trying to find *Who I AM* in the eyes of another. Using make-up, the "right" clothes, house, car, career, etc. etc. to disguise the "hideous beast" lurking inside. Terrified of being seen *naked*, for who we really are! Most believing that a relationship can provide the missing component that will "make me feel whole".

And yet...how CAN two "things" relate to each other (or even attempt to) IF THEY ARE BOTH *HIDING*??? If I hold out my closed fists and ask you to guess what each contains (with no prior hints) and expect you to also see their relevance to each other...(hammer to nail, paper to pencil, earth to water, etc. etc.) then I am doing what so many lonely individuals do....attempting to find a relationship without even knowing their OWN *TRUE* identity, OR that of the other.

Something to think about.... :-)

Hugs,
Kimberly :-)

"Everything Is Beautiful"

(As recorded by Ray Stevens)
R. STEVENS

("Jesus loves the little children
All the little children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world")

Everything is beautiful in its own way
Like a starry summer night
Or a snow covered winter's day
And everybody's beautiful in their own way
And under God's heaven
The world's gonna find a way.

There is none so blind as he who will not see
We must not close our minds
We must let our thoughts be free
For every hour that passes by
You know the world gets a little bit older
It's time to realize that beauty lies
In the eyes of the beholder.

And everything is beautiful in its own way
Like a starry summer night
Or a snow covered winter's day
Ah, sing it children
Everybody's beautiful, oh in their own way
Under God's heaven the world's gonna find a way.

We shouldn't care about the length of his hair
Or the color of the skin
Don't worry about what shows from without
But the love that lives within
And we gonna get it all together now
Everything gonna work out fine
Just take a little time to look on the good side my friend
And straighten it out in your mind

And everything is beautiful in its own way
Like a starry summer night
Or a snow covered winter's day, ah sing it children
Everybody's beautiful, oh in their own way
Under God's heaven
The world's gonna find a way.

One more time
Everything is beautiful in its own way
Oh, in its own way
Like a starry summer night, or a snow covered winter's day.

(c) Copyright 1970 by Ahab Music Co.

Quiet Intensity (January 4, 2011--1/4/11)

Today was another quiet day...until my five "middle" children (ages 10-18) came over for "Date Night". Oh, how I have loved getting to observe the vast rainbow of humanity and the unique propensities of those I have been blessed to witness...my own children up close and first-hand. What an amazing and vast array "God" has created! On top of the singular uniqueness on display, is the intricate intensity of the interplay and exchanges constantly interacting and evolving.

I continue to marvel at the details of my life and how the WHOLE ENTIRE UNIVERSE appears to be conspiring FOR MY BENEFIT! As I have become more and more aware of the details that I have invited into my awareness, it has become quite amusing all the myriad details. Again, I'll share more at some point. :-)

Hugs,
Kimberly :-)

Communication (January 3, 2011--1/3/11)

Interesting...

The "cleaner" and "stiller" I get physically and mentally...
the clearer and louder the message becomes.

I carried on my deep cleaning today.

Although my *Cricket* internet service provider did not allow me to access the internet until this afternoon, I was able to "down-load" much more today from *Inner* sources. I filled several pages of notes in my *journal*.

I was able to pay off my large credit card debt through a 0% Balance Transfer with another institution today.

Baby Joey, the seven-month-old that I care for needed much re-training today. After four days away from me, he was greatly de-railed...out of routine, falling asleep during feeding, angry when I consistently made attempts to "wake him up" and finish eating, exhausted. Tomorrow, his parents are taking him in for cosmetic "circumcision". Because I was not asked for my perspective, I did not offer it. Oh, how I personally learned lessons in that book through my own experiences.

I have been told, and believe, that my life will NOT be in vain, that my lessons learned WILL benefit others...many others. I proceed in faith...Listening and pondering intently as I walk one foot, one moment, in front of the other.

I have so very much to share...when the time is right and the soil fertile.

All the while, I continue letting go of all "possessions" and figuring it all out.

Hugs,
Kimberly :-)

To BE (January 2, 2011--1/02/11)

Today and yesterday I spent mostly relaxing and deep cleaning inside. Through this, I received greater clarity and understanding about life. I will share more about this later.

I am amazed...and amazing! :-)

Hugs,
Kimberly

The "Dtoo-Dtee" (January 1, 2011/ 1-1-11)

This afternoon, I drove my newly 18-year-old son, Tanner, back to his dad's house. Tanner and his brothers and sisters had spent time with Krystal and I over this past week while celebrating our relationships along with Christmas/ New Year's/ and his birthday. What an intense, wonderful time! :-)

As I drove, I saw something that spurred a shared memory. When Tanner was a small toddler he had problems communicating because of a pronounced lisp. One day as I drove, he excitedly pointed to something outside the car and enthusiastically tried to share something. It sounded like he said: "Dtoo Dtee!!!!!" In trying to understand and share in his enthusiasm, I questioned, "What's a 'dtoo-dtee'?" Frustrated, he repeated, "No! 'dtoo-dtee'!" "Duty?" asked one of his older siblings. "NO! dtoo-dtee!" Tyler, Alyssa and Bryanne and I all attempted earnestly to make sense of what Tanner was attempting to convey--with no success. UNTIL...Tanner gestured with his hands at his feet while he said (and this, we DID understand), "You know...you take off your dtoos (shoes), dtie them, and dtrow (throw)them in the dtee(tree)!" Ahhh...NOW we understood! We had (now a few miles back) driven past the huge oak tree growing near the road that (as it must have been winter-time and leaf-less and easy to see its contents) was decorated with myriad pairs of shoes that had been tied in pairs and thrown up (in decoration?) into its branches. My children and I had (previous to this) called this tree the "shoe tree".

As Tanner and I reminisced on this tender memory of mis-communication turning (through shared desire and persistence) into communication, we then shared about communication itself. I poignantly offered my experiences of aching to be able to communicate with my dear friends in Ecuador, and how often it had brought tears to my eyes as our disparate languages did not allow for complete understanding. We talked about the acquisition of verbal language for children and its displacement of real communication via body language and the shared voice and understanding of "soul contact". I explored with him the concept of "reverse speech" and its acquisition in young children and my personal intrigue with this as Krystal had begun (at about 15 months old) to "speak" this...later substituting it with (its reverse) the english language.

I shared with him my belief that verbal language allowed for the proliferation of non-integrous communication, lying and deceit which, interestingly (at least for me) the invention of "reverse-speech" instruments are able to detect (though most of us do not have available, nor are many even aware of this).

I later pondered that the only real understanding *I* have is through *My* experience as "Kimberly". Through my personal endeavoring to REALLY LEARN through my life's experiences the lessons that I bring to *me*, I have attempted to become completely congruent with who *I AM* and live *TRUE* to *Me*.

This first day of the first month of this new year I am desiring to share daily entries of my experiences and my ponderings leading to (I hope) the wisdom that they might afford. I know not if anything I will live and attempt to share through this blog will ever be read by another...much less touch or help another life. But if, indeed, it does, or they do...my own life will be that much more blessed.

Recently watching the movie "Julie and Julia" which chronicled a year in the life of "Julie" as she worked through a cookbook of Julia Child and blogged about her experiences, I was struck with how her experiences did, indeed, end up affecting many others...and bringing to her her joy of sharing (through the written word) her passion (cooking food).

Although anyone who enters my home will attest that I seem to enjoy sharing food and feeding others...my TRUE JOY is blessing others with *spiritual food* and pointing their awareness more directly toward the *One* who can TRULY feed each one of us. For most of us, this *One* lies unheard and seemingly dormant deep within.

As I have become more and more focused on hearing and following this *One* within *Me*, I have heard unspeakable things that have given me tremendous peace and personal direction. What I have experienced goes way beyond the *path* that I had (as a young girl and teenager) thought I wanted to walk. But, OH, the JOY in walking an untrod path and finding my *Own* way.

I awoke this morning to scant lyrics from the tune "No Man Is An Island" going through my mind. As I looked up the full lyrics and pondered on them, I *saw*, again, how, indeed, we are all connected and this world-wide web can allow us each, individually, to share our separate-yet-intertwined experiences with each other, leading to the inevitable joining of hearts and minds into a global family, enriched through our own lives' experiences and the sharing and connecting of those with each other.

To life, love and shared "dtoo-dtee's"!

Hugs and smiles,
Kimberly :-)

"No Man Is An Island"
No man is an island,
No man stands alone,
Each man's joy is joy to me,
Each man's grief is my own.


We need one another,
So I will defend,
Each man as my brother,
Each man as my friend.


I saw the people gather,
I heard the music start,
The song that they were singing,
Is ringing in my heart.


No man is an island,
Way out in the blue,
We all look to the one above,
For our strength to renew.


When I help my brother,
Then I know that I,
Plant the seed of friendship,
That will never die.
©

"Krystal's Kreations"

Who would have guessed??? :-)

Krystal and I have gone into business. Together, we are making bracelets! :-)

It has been a wild and precipitous ride since arriving back in Arizona from Ecuador (June '09) right when the economy had taken a major plunge and 1000's of qualified, certified teachers were laid off throughout the state. What is a single mom, with no more money, no job, NO outside "assistance" of any kind, nor "family" to lean upon, to do???

I initially found a job assistant teaching at a very small charter school (K-3 grade) of inner-city, mostly hispanic children. Krystal attended Kindergarten there, and I worked closely with her teacher. I also was the "specialist" with its population of "special needs" children, witnessing many small miracles, and seeing confidences soar. In the afternoons, I would help the students enjoy and appreciate music. Although I appreciated working with the poor and relatively "humble" population here in the "States", and made fast friends with the other teachers, I was required to draw heavily upon my available credit line to pay expenses each month, even with our ultra-simple life-style. I attempted to find additional part-time work, endeavoring to establish group music classes ("Music is FUNdamental!") in the afternoons, but nothing ever came to fruition. Curious???!

I had been lead to believe upon hiring and through various conversations throughout the year that as the school expanded and the director added a classroom the next year (now in session), that I would have that (full-time, salaried) position. Although still very meager by most U.S. standards, and certainly by my former standards, it would still pay over three times what I was making and I would be able to meet our monthly expenses as well as climb back out of debt. However...

In the middle of May, after a teacher (surprisingly) commented to me that the director had advised her that I would be heading the school's summer school program, I realized that some communication was necessary and that I would have to initiate it. I had already accepted summer employment with former neighbors and friends and had a waiting clientelle for group tutoring classes for the summer. Long story short, I was informed that she, the director, was hiring someone else, a male, to take the new class this next year, as the children, she felt, needed a male role-model. Additionally, she wanted to use his computer and administrative skills to "groom" him to take over her position as she expanded into additional school sites. She wanted me to continue on in the same position, with the same pay as I had. HOW COULD I??? (Even if I had wanted to.) :-)

Something deep inside me had, for those last several weeks, been whispering: "No man can serve TWO 'Masters." Finally, I understood that I had been putting "Ms. Margaret" up...as my "master". No matter how much loving service I was rendering, I was still relying upon another (Her) to provide for our financial needs. Ah-ha!

There are so many details of this last chapter of my life story which are pretty amazing, but will need to be shared at a different time and venue. But...I suddenly found myself back in the job searching market, with only a fragment of my credit line left. What to do now???

KNOWING that I would only find the "highest path" if I remained in peace and faithfully followed any and all impressions and opportunities that availed themselves...I have been searching continually for "the answer" to this quandry.

Ohhh, that the Worldwide United Foundation were already in place...to benefit EACH of US...AND Krystal and I!

Staring face-to-face with the ever-present possibility that Krystal and I would be out on the streets soon, I chose to, instead, keep my vision bright and strong. At various moments, this was a Herculean task. My mind was open to anything (and, I mean, Anything!), though how to juggle all the variables (which I will leave to the reader's mind--many I am not able to disclose at this time), was quite a wonder.

At the request of a new friend, I accepted to care for her toddler in my home. This brought in a little money. I also was able to benefit from food stamps. Although I was strung along for many weeks past their appointed time-frame for an answer, I was finally told that I was denied any unemployment insurance because, in their opinion, I had "quit" my job and that ammeliorated my opportunity for assistance from the government.

It almost appeared to me to be a "comical" situation. How long will Kimberly be able to remain in peace, trying "door" after "door", smiling through all this? How many "dead ends" and cement walls will she come to in her pursuit to find something (anything!) to provide for herself and her small daughter???

I KNEW, somehow, that the answer WOULD come! Again, leaving out many, many amazing details....

One day as I was searching on-line, I happened upon a work-from-home situation, making handcrafts for a company. Hmmm. As I was thinking through this possibility and researching the company and the testimonials from their employees, Krystal was coming in every few minutes to have me tie off a bracelet that she was making. Half-interested in her creations, time and again one of us would drop the strand and it would fall to the carpet, requiring her to start over...again! Finally...I gave her my full attention and had my "Ah-ha" moment!

Krystal and I could enter into business ourselves! I would have NO ONE over me that I would be looking to for a pay check, direction, communication, etc. Krystal obviously was very tenacious and talented in what she had been doing for the last couple hours. Her bracelets (using the simple child's kit that her sister Bryanne and friend Colton had bought her for her birthday) were extraordinarily well-designed for a 6-year-old. They were balanced, symmetrical, interesting and beautiful. What could she do if I fully "came on board"? I have always loved creating things of beauty!

Even more importantly, my heart had yearned to find a solution which benefitted not only us...but the entire world! I had ached to create some way to live my passion, help bring forth Krystal's hidden propensities and interests, and help further the cause of the Worldwide United Foundation...thereby uniting in heart and mind the global brotherhood of man as we cared for each other...ALL of us on the planet.

Thus, "Krystal's Kreations" was born.

In my mind, "Krystal's Kreations" goes farrr beyond a mother-and-young-child business venture. In my mind, this is the beginning of something GLOBAL. I see "Krystal's Kreations" as being one of the first steps in each individual on the planet finding something that THEY can do or create to bring them joy AND help bless the rest of humanity. My vision is vast. My desires to help bring the PEACE ON EARTH for EACH of US is strong and not-to-be-extinguished! Although our simple needs will be taken care of, I believe, I see our ability to contribute to this amazing foundation growing and growing.

Since the "Gilbert Farmer's Market" opened up, nearly 4 weeks ago (nearly right-around-the-corner from us!), we have been able to find a way to "market" the hundreds of bracelets that we have made. Krystal initially contributed all of her birthday money and I have, literally, used our last cents to find and purchase the beads and other needed materials. Thankfully, a few others have even donated additional beads. I, truly, am walking this path with the faith and determination that our rent will be able to be paid...and much, much more!

Initially, one dollar of each bracelet sell is going to the Worldwide United Foundation. As our basic needs are met and this vision is accepted by others and expands, I believe that we will be able to contribute much more.

I may write in the future more about the unforeseen and interesting path that led us here, but suffice it to say at this point that WE ARE HAVING FUNNNNN! :-)

Although, officially observed as "one must work for his bread!" and "the curse of Adam", that one must "labor all the days of his life"...by "the sweat of his brow"....

I truly believe that the "Curse" can be overcome and undone. Although celebrated yearly as "Labor Day" and lived out throughout the world (EACH DAY!) by many groveling "poor" and humble, some for every moment of their miserable life...

I believe with all of my heart that THERE *IS* Another Way! :-)

In a nut-shell: I believe that it is *God's* Work and Glory to "bring about the immortality and eternal life of mankind". I believe that it is *MY* Work and *MY* Glory to Live Passionately and Kindly (in all things obeying the "Golden Rule") as I *Play* and *Have Fun* finding *MY* opportunities to be the "Creator" that *I AM* and that contribute to the beauty and harmony of the world. :-)

I would like to invite others to join with us. What is it that you enjoy doing? What brings *YOU* JOY as you passionately undertake it? One might have to, possibly, expand one's vision here. I know *I* did! (Creating beautiful, unique bracelets to sell to others when I don't even wear jewelry myself certainly was quite a new thought for me!) :-) But, you, too, can find and have an open mind and heart...! :-)

Let's together, collectively, bring forth the joy and peace on earth...in each heart and EVERY home.

Simply, it requires,

First: signing the petition found at www.worldwideunited.org

and then: doing what you love that benefits others (even another's "vanity" :-) ).

We need no longer look to nor lean upon any other "Master" but that "Creative" still voice inside our own heart.

What do you think? Better yet, How do you *FEEEEEEL*?

If *I* can do it, from my precarious situation...YOU CAN, TOO!

With tremendous respect for each one of us...

Let's DO IT!

Hugs,
Kimberly :-)